By Kieran Clark
Are you a Golfaholic, or someone who just enjoys hitting a few tops, slices, shanks and chunks?
Unless you earn a living from playing the game, or compete at an elite amateur level, golf is essentially a hobby for most of us.
Whether you are a serious Golfaholic, or someone who merely enjoys the occasional round isn’t necessarily determined by your ability, but rather your habits, just how much of your time is allocated to golf and how dedicated you are to improving your game? While a fair proportion of us would ideally like to play more and shoot lower scores, it doesn’t occupy our minds with every living breath, but for others, they can’t bear life, without their regular golf fix.
For those of us that have been pondering the contrast between Golfaholics and the rest of us mere hackers. We developed a simple test. Give yourself a point for each one that relates to you, to see where you stand on the scale!
I Always Clean My Clubs After Playing Golf
A real golfer will always clean their clubs after a round, while the rest of us will turn up with grass and sand embedded within the grooves of our irons from six months ago.
I Always Clean My Golf Shoes After Playing
Similarly, a golfer will be diligent with regards to regularly cleaning their golf shoes, whereas others will wear a pair that have mud encrusted from rounds and courses gone by.
I Play Golf Whatever the Weather
Do you only play when it’s sunny? A golfer will be out in all conditions, rain, sleet, or snow, and have the appropriate gear to handle it.
I Will Happily Play Golf Alone
Would you consider playing alone, or is golf mostly a social outlet? For a golfer, company is a non-essential bonus, the only companion they really need is the course and clubs.
I Always Arrive Early to Prepare
A golfer will arrive 45 minutes before teeing off, giving plenty of time to warm up on the practice range, chipping, or putting areas, while the rest of us will rush to the tee with five minutes to go and hope for the best.
I Play One Brand of Golf Ball
Many people will have a bag full of mixed golf balls they have found or been gifted, but golfers will only use that one brand of ball, the model they have specifically chosen for their game.
My Clubs Are Always in the Trunk
Just like American Express, a golfer never leaves home without his sticks. He, or she will always have them handy in the trunk, ready for whenever the opportunity arises, while the rest of us will let them gather dust in the garage.
I Regularly Visit the Range 
When did you last visit a range? If the answer is three times every week, then you are a golfer, whereas for a lot of people who play golf, they couldn’t remember when they last stepped on one.
I Practice Often
Likewise, a golfer will carefully work on their game, particularly after a bad round, looking to rectify the faults, while the most practice other players will do is at best a couple of putts before teeing off.
I Always Keep Score
A golfer will always carefully keep score in recreational rounds, playing to the exact rules, while the rest of us may not even bother carrying a scorecard, at very least tearing it up after a quadruple bogey.
I Track My Rounds & Stats
If you are a golfer, then you will carefully track your scores and performance stats, using that as a reference to improve, whereas the rest of us don’t fancy going to that much trouble.
I Carefully Maintain My Clubs
Golfers will carefully maintain their clubs, researching the latest and best grips and shafts, while those of us who occasionally play haven’t so much as changed a grip, since we bought them 18 years ago.
I Carefully Pack My Golf Bag
Before playing, will you pack your golf bag expertly with sufficient balls and tees, pencils, energy drinks, chocolate, fruit? That’s what a golfer would do. The rest of us aren’t surprised if we find a rotten banana peel in there.
I Watch Golf Videos Online
Do you spend time watching hours of golf tips on YouTube, or television, like a real golfer? For those of us who aren’t quite so keen, we are otherwise engrossed by cat videos.
I Only Wear One Brand of Clothing
Would you gladly wear a Callaway cap with a Titleist shirt and Cobra Golf shoes? Serious golfers are passionate, unrelenting one-brand players, committed to their label of choice, while the rest of us will just wear whatever is comfortable and fits.
I Have A GPS/Rangefinder Device
Does a few hundred bucks spent on the latest and greatest GPS or Rangefinder seem excessive? Real golfers can’t wait to use one at every opportunity on the course, while the rest of us will stick to the sprinkler heads for judging our yardages.
I Study & Plot Strategy Before Playing
Playing a new course for the first time? Golfers will study guides online, analyze scorecards, check course routing maps, as well as, videos to get a feel for what they can expect to see and plot their strategy. Most of us simply like to turn up on the day and be surprised.
I Live for Competitive Golf
Do you live for competitive play and manage your life around the club medal and championship schedule? For real golfers, it matters to have something to target, while the rest of us are lucky to enter a handful of events a season just to keep our handicaps ticking over, if bothering at all.
If you bothered to keep score here is where you rate on the Golfaholic spectrum?
15-18 Unhealthily Obsessed Golfaholic: You should seek professional help.
12-14 Passionate Golfaholic: You are consumed with the game, but there is still hope.
9-11 Keen Golfaholic: You are on the edge of oblivion. Take steps now to save yourself.
5-8 Determined Golfaholic: You see the game as simply another reason to drink beer outdoors.
0-4 Apathetic Golfer: You may want consider taking up needle point or tennis
Wherever you end up, we hope you garner the most enjoyment from the game. The great thing about golf is that you don’t have to be a professional or top amateur to enjoy a stroll around the course and hopefully relieve some of the stress from your life.
Golf is for EVERYONE…….. even if you are not a true Golfaholic!!
Reprinted with permission from Kieran Clark at Golf Shake.
